I refuse to be a victim anymore. I will not continue to succumb to the propaganda of the diet and weight loss industries. To paraphrase the lovely Ragen Chastain (who I believe is herself quoting someone- CJ Legare? I can’t be sure, but regardless both those ladies are awesome and you should check them out) I refuse to allow my self-esteem to be taken from me, cheapened and then sold back to me at a profit. I refuse to hate my body just because someone (or everyone) tells me I should.
I took Tae Kwon Do for a few years in middle school (in fact I’m thinking about getting back into it). One of the first things you learn in the self-defense aspect is that you’re only a victim if you allow yourself to be one. Victimhood is a choice. Being a victim of circumstance is obviously not a choice (natural disasters, violent crime, etc), but choosing to remain a victim once shit’s gone down is entirely on you. Crap stuff happens to people all the time but when it does you have a choice. You can wallow in your misery and play the victim card and people will feel bad and help you out for a while, or you can accept what has happened and then try to change it or prevent it happening again. I am accepting that I have allowed the diet industry to get in my head and I accept that I believed their lies for so long. It’s done, I can’t change it so I’m not going to bother worrying or beating myself up about it. I accept that I’ve been victimized and that I’ve victimized myself. I also refuse to do it any longer.
I will not be told that I am not good enough by complete strangers. I will not let a group of powerful, wealthy, sick-minded individuals convince me that my body is unworthy, especially not when they stand to make a profit from me believing their lies. I will not count calories, anally tracking every unit of energy that passes through my body, hoping to strike some magical balance between the amount of energy my body needs and the amount I’m told I should give it until it achieves its “perfect shape” (incidentally, those numbers are about 1700 and 1200, respectively. I am just realizing how very little sense it makes to only allow your body 2/3 of the energy it needs to survive). I will not eat packaged diet food that is sold under the guise of “healthy” when it would be far healthier to consume their full-fat, -calorie, -sugar, -whatever counterparts. I will not buy clothes that “slim” or “mask flaws” I will not force myself to do exercises I hate for a predetermined amount of time as punishment for the food I’ve eaten.
What will I do? I will tell myself every day that I love myself, and I love my body and that I am beautiful and intelligent and worthy of being liked. I will allow myself to eat anything I want while keeping focus on healthy, whole foods. I will start a work-out program doing something I like for the sole purpose of physical fitness (not body shape). I will allow myself wiggle room on the days and duration of my work outs. I will try my very hardest to pass this message along to anyone who will listen. I will start with my little sister. I will not let her go through the same torment that I did.